5 Secrets Your Husband Doesn't Want You To Know
October 24, 2011 Dr. Oz Show
Dr. Oz asked Dr. Turner why would these husbands have secrets that they don't want their wives to find out about. Dr. Turner said that men aren't raised to talk about sex, intimacy, and their emotions. He said that most men would just rather avoid conversations about intimacy altogether.
Top 5 Things Men Don't Want You To Know
#5 I'm Worried That You Are Turning In To Your Mother
Dr. Turner says that sometimes couples start to get too comfortable in their relationship. Once you get past the infatuation stage it is often normal for this to happen. Growing up we often model ourselves with what we saw while we were growing up. We do this on both a conscious and subconscious level.
#4 I'm Overwhelmed By The Idea Of Being With Her Forever
The second husband said that the "Idea" of being with his wife forever is overwhelming. Dr. Laura Berman says that monogamy doesn't come naturally to us. We didn't used to live long after our reproductive years. Now we are living much longer and it can be overwhelming to look at the whole picture. Dr. Turner recommends hugging your spouse for 30 seconds or longer when this happens. He said that studies show that this releases the "cuddling hormone" and can make this feeling go away.
Dr. Oz (who has been married for 26 years) told the couple that you have to reinvent yourself over the course of your entire marriage. He said that you can't be the same person 20 years from now as what year are today. He says that if you never evolve in a relationship it's never going to work. If you can reinvent the relationship over the course of time it's almost as if you are marrying different people. Dr. Oz says that he has been married to four different women. They different women just happened to have the same social security # and birth certificate.
#3 I Don't Know What I'm Doing "Down There"
The third husband revealed that he thinks that he doesn't know what he is doing "down there." The wife was caught by surprise by this. She says that he does a fine job in that aspect of their sex life. Dr. Turner said that when it comes to that department men are often "Ill-cliterate". He said that it is of no fault to the men, it's just that there is often a lack of sex education in that area. He said that most of orgasm producing nerve endings are located in areas that are exposed. With just a little female understanding any man can become "Clitterate".
Dr. Laura Berman says that communication is key. You can't assume that the men knows what he is doing down there. With just a little guidance sex can be more enjoyable for both partners.
#2 I Am Jealous Of My Single Friends
The "Soon To Be" husband said that he is jealous of his friends single lifestyle and the freedom associated with being single. He said that he is envious of how his single friends can go out and not have anyone to have to answer to.
Dr. Berman said that there really isn't anything to be jealous of. She said that studies have shown that married men actually have more sex and also live longer than single men.
Dr. Turner believes that independence is very important in a marriage. He says that the strongest marriages that he has come across allows for the spouses to have their independence. He thinks that you should still be allowed to go out and enjoy many of the things that single people enjoy.
#1 I Watch More Porn Than You Know
The husband says that watching porn from "professionals" helps him to learn how to have sex better. Dr. Laura Berman says that do not get your "sex education" from watching porn. It is geared towards men (Dr. Oz audience gave an applause to this). What you are seeing on a porno is rarely what turn a woman on. She also said that men masterbate frequently and they like the visual stimulation that porn provides them. She said that if a man says that he doesn't masterbate, Dr. Berman said that you can be assured at a 99% accuracy that he isn't telling the truth and that he does masterbate.
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